I started this post about 4x but never got past a paragraph – that is how tired I am lately. Walking up the stairs to my bedroom seems as a hike. If you can recall that moment when you are dozing off on a couch and then quickly wake up – that moment when your eyes sort of open and you are coming back to real life – well, that is how I feel 24/7. It sucks. My day resembles my bassethound’s day way more nowadays. From couch to bed, from bed to couch and porch if the nasty rain goes away. Yes, a picture of energy lately.
Strangely though, all my blood work is excellent. Peachy, actually. So it is just the headache, itchy skin, heartburn – and yes, the fatigue. Sounds totally manageable given what I have but it is not good for my mind – that feeling of not able to do much of anything. The diet sucks right now – not because I can’t follow it but because the damn thing takes A LOT of planning, cooking and work. This is not an “open your fridge and grab something” diet. It takes a lot of thinking ahead and making your own stuff – and that is not my forte right now. Gym feels like Mt. Everest expedition.
So on the positive note, my skin is amazing (ha, not sure why), I lost 12 pounds and am down 2 sizes (upping my intake now to maintain – but all my pants just hang on me), the hair is super low maintenance and I like it, and I only have 5 more treatments to go. It is the Final countdown, yes! Who wouldn’t remember that one hit wonder – and the hair?
My short-term disability has been extended to early April so I have a whole month to recover and get myself back to 100%. I am glad I didn’t go to work which I had a small tendency to do as I was restless. Not now, I can see why they say to take the time.
Yet, even in this stage, I get calls from the healthcare providers and insurance company to reconcile the crazy bills. This whole part of healthcare is completely insane. I spent 12 hours last week reconciling everything, found over $50K of mistakes, called useless call centers where they know 4 operations – and upped my blood pressure significantly. I get a letter from Anthem saying that the genetic molecular work my doctor did is experimental so not covering it – hello a new car! B and I were floored. I have to give huge kudos to my oncology office that takes some of these shocking events/letters and deals with all of it on my behalf. Reality is – there is no transparency or outcome-based choices in healthcare. You are in a complete lock down between the doctors and insurance companies. And if one of them sucks, you go down – not them.
Anyway – was I too negative today? Maybe – it is week 6 and supposed to be the worst – but not every week was going to be a beach day. Ah, beach – that is where I want to be after all this is done. Just doing nothing – relaxing. (like this in Nizuc or this in Isla Mujeres). Maybe – or maybe I learn a bit more about my genetics – the choices you get to make these days 🙂
So I will end with some fun pictures when mum was here – we had a great time!