Things are getting a bit tougher as I chug along. I was celebrating midpoint but the weekend was a reality check. Not so fast, lady – says the world of mutated cells.
I knew it was going to come out so was to be prepared, this was expected. But the reality hit harder than I thought. On Friday a bunch of it stayed in my comb – I mean a golf ball size. By Saturday, it was everywhere. I could feel it sitting in my hair as it fell of the roots and just sat in my lower hair as large balls or dreads? My hair stopped moving from side to side, it was just heavy mess hanging in there. Part of the problem was I didn’t want to brush or comb it as I was somehow thinking that will avoid the fall out. Bad mistake, it got so tangly and messy, it took quite the effort to get it out. Of course, it didn’t help that the scalp under it was burning and mum (who arrived on Saturday) brought the burn foam and lard for it – so yes, quite the hairstylist dream on top of my head. More of a mess of a very unorganized, chaotic bird nest.By Monday, 75% of my hair was gone – mostly around the scar and radiation – but I forgot that the tumor was actually 3 inches x 2.5 inches so that’s a BIG spot on your head + peripheral damage! The boys took it very hard and think it was a big wake up call for them. We talked about it a bit but need to continue. I did get some middle school advice on the best muslim-like cover ups and every morning get lots of opinions if this type of cover will work or not – or if my choice is not appropriate. I had an appointment with a hairstylist who only specializes in cancer patients – and scoped out some wigs, hats with hair, scarves, turbans, you name it – there is a whole industry I didn’t know much about. I loved some of the wigs, my hair could look so much better and ready to go – I am actually kind of excited. Right now, my hair is thin but all the loss is in the back so you can’t tell upfront – those are holding up so far!
Fatigue & headache
I thought it was just tiredness but fatigue is a whole new level. Sleeping, napping, resting doesn’t do anything to help it. Walking takes it out of me. Exercise, hmm, skipped this week. A bit of a fog of a feeling and I want to sleep, all the time. New type of headache, sort of a dull feel but honestly nothing compared to my prior headaches or migraines – so no complain there.
Noone tells you how much these drugs and the diet mess up your digestion/bowels. Constipated one day, opposite the other day. Heartburn which I hate probably the most. Just overall fun times – keeping me surprised.
Olympics keeping me entertained so watching 24/7 – everything from skeleton to curling. Otherwise, just marching along with my morning radiation, updated music playlist regularly. These days I am going for rock with dancing music so I can kind of move (or feel like I do) the rest of my unmasked body with it. Today I was even humming to Juanes. So here is a sample of what my 8 minutes look like.
And here is part of my support crew
Thank you for the update. I’m sure you’re glad your mom is there for a visit. The wig may be covered by a non-profit. It was for my friend here in Phoenix. Both she and my mom said getting ready is a lot faster without having to style your hair, so there’s one less thing to worry about. Sending you virtual hugs as I support my dad on his recovery.
Rock the wigs and accessories for now, but your hair will grow back after you win this fight. My mom, who I read your postings to regularly, asked that I tell you she is so impressed by your attitude and strength. Plus she suggests you consider a career in writing.
Btw, thanks for sharing your play list. I had never heard Juanes and loved his song! Would love it if you continue to share with us the songs that helped you that day / week during the treatment.
So sweet of you to share this with your mum! Say big thanks to her for positive vibes!
Stay strong Misha, I cry you and your family have to go through this, and pray you are healthy and strong soon. We will soon be reading about your family’s travel and adventures.